Most of the images in the Gallery depict scenes or characters from each chapter of the novel, the five prologues and the epilogue.

These images have been created by Ai image generation from prompt freeware. Some images simply could not be generated, either because they were too surreal or difficult for the program to grasp. Not a single Ai image creation program could create the image of a Waisthold’s Orbiter bicycle, let alone the Hanoverian Malady decals. Ais have a cut-off point where they are prevented from creating images they may cause particular types of offence, or suggestive in some way. Some Ais are stricter than others. There are a great many scenes from the novel that could not be produced, however, all scenes are hopefully described in such a way that no image is actually needed. It’s just a bit of further fun really, because it’s available.

The main characters have been created to be close to the imagined physical and facial characteristics in the author’s mind. The closest being Alwyn, followed by Moab. Of the minor characters, Mrs Godbolt is not bad.

Prologue 927AD - 1575AD

  • 927 AD | Offraed as a toddler.

    927 AD | Offraed as a toddler.

  • 973 AD | Dunstan as a monk, faced by a ‘watch of badgers’.

    973 AD | Dunstan as a monk, faced by a ‘watch of badgers’.

  • 973 AD | Dunstan’s mother.

    973 AD | Dunstan’s mother.

  • 973 AD | The hunting of Offraed.

    973 AD | The hunting of Offraed.

  • 991 AD | The burial of Offraed.

    991 AD | The burial of Offraed.

  • 1065 AD | The siege of the Mont Saint Michel.

    1065 AD | The siege of the Mont Saint Michel.

  • 1575 AD | The goddess Sensibility dismissing all irrationality.

    1575 AD | The goddess Sensibility dismissing all irrationali...

  • 1575 AD | The lot of Anthoneye of Witchford.

    1575 AD | The lot of Anthoneye of Witchford.

Chapter 1

  • Village government shower house. This is where we are all going. You wait and see!

    Village government shower house. This is where we are all go...

  • Pip’s Tonttu. A captured forest Tonttu from the Karelian district of Finland. (Painting courtesy of Essu, North-East Finland. 2011.)

    Pip’s Tonttu. A captured forest Tonttu from the Karelian dis...

  • Bathing with a Crested Gibbon. The gentle method of becoming acquainted with bathing in the company of vigorous monkeys.

    Bathing with a Crested Gibbon. The gentle method of becoming...

  • The lock keeper testing the trebuchet on rude and insulting canal boat owners.

    The lock keeper testing the trebuchet on rude and insulting ...

  • Calling tree dolly down. The morning ritual for Moab.

    Calling tree dolly down. The morning ritual for Moab.

  • Construction of the trebuchet. From Frank’s Boy’s Own Carpentry and Welding Annual.

    Construction of the trebuchet. From Frank’s Boy’s Own Carpen...

  • The largest of the two village pubs, The Old Sheep’s Cough & Pond Drainer.

    The largest of the two village pubs, The Old Sheep’s Cough &...

  • The enforced bathing of the old in Georgian England.

    The enforced bathing of the old in Georgian England.

  • Victorian bicycle croquet. Part of a surreal letter to the Antiquarian Society.

    Victorian bicycle croquet. Part of a surreal letter to the A...

  • Soaks over Grandma, time to face the music.

    Soaks over Grandma, time to face the music.

Chapter 2

  • The Armstrong Siddeley Tomb of the Pharaohs Trapper car alarm. One of Goliath Bicker’s series of ‘Trappers and Frightners’ automobile alarms.

    The Armstrong Siddeley Tomb of the Pharaohs Trapper car alar...

  • Royal Household Squirrel Enhancers Crest. A proud regiment, and one close to the heart of George V.

    Royal Household Squirrel Enhancers Crest. A proud regiment, ...

  • Moab’s first attempt to lead-train Startled the Arctic hare.

    Moab’s first attempt to lead-train Startled the Arctic hare.

  • The disembarking of the exhausted yogic flyers on returning from Lapland.

    The disembarking of the exhausted yogic flyers on returning ...

  • Mrs Fumes’ hot flush.

    Mrs Fumes’ hot flush.

  • The usual vanishing and reappearing trick played by Lucid the Quantum dog, as he greets the family after returning from Lapland with the children’s father.

    The usual vanishing and reappearing trick played by Lucid th...

  • Moab’s percussion music lesson. Stockhausen for little girl music students.

    Moab’s percussion music lesson. Stockhausen for little girl ...

  • Tuesday morning breakfast. Discussions include euphemisms to hide sexuality, memories of the Royal Household Squirrel Enhancers, and the British army’s use of apes for sanitation trials in Gibraltar.

    Tuesday morning breakfast. Discussions include euphemisms to...

Chapter 3

  • The Crinolined Crab. An early Waisthold’s creation. Transport for Dudley’s ageing mother who refused to use brakes.

    The Crinolined Crab. An early Waisthold’s creation. Transpor...

  • Turner sketch. The artist’s cat (1807). An anatomically incorrect sketch by the great man himself.

    Turner sketch. The artist’s cat (1807). An anatomically inco...

  • Armidal Besquin painting. A Day out at the Louvre for the Institutionalized (1824).

    Armidal Besquin painting. A Day out at the Louvre for the In...

  • Cystennin Must the Constant Magician.

    Cystennin Must the Constant Magician.

  • Turner painting and cover of the book – The Forgotten Works of JWM Turner. The Rape of the Harlesworth Common mule (1821).

    Turner painting and cover of the book – The Forgotten Works ...

  • Pip’s nightmare about Widow Touch’s cottage.

    Pip’s nightmare about Widow Touch’s cottage.

  • Mrs Godbolt. Judgemental, and the leading voice amongst the village circle of gossipers.

    Mrs Godbolt. Judgemental, and the leading voice amongst the ...

  • Richard’s dream. Wolverines, bears in nappies and a visitor from Hamlet.

    Richard’s dream. Wolverines, bears in nappies and a visitor ...

  • Turner painting. A Soup frigate anchoring at Harwich. Morning Oarsmen Queue for towels – Sunrise Through Dysentery Fumes (1813).

    Turner painting. A Soup frigate anchoring at Harwich. Mornin...

  • The Brothers Bastardos. Ramon and Jesus. The polar opposite of the genteel villagers in every way.

    The Brothers Bastardos. Ramon and Jesus. The polar opposite ...

  • Stupid Walter the village idiot. A carrier of advertising A-boards and a chaser of free cups of tea.

    Stupid Walter the village idiot. A carrier of advertising A-...

  • The relic in the palace of William of Normandy. The first appearance of St Offraed’s Relic in a historical document.

    The relic in the palace of William of Normandy. The first ap...

  • Turner painting. Breakfast: The Morning After the Reading of the Will (1844).

    Turner painting. Breakfast: The Morning After the Reading of...

  • The Diseased bakers. Would you like a wasp on your cream bun, or are you OK?

    The Diseased bakers. Would you like a wasp on your cream bun...

  • Steamlips and the yogic flyer distracting the Brothers Bastardos.

    Steamlips and the yogic flyer distracting the Brothers Basta...

Chapter 4

  • Mr Sine. The lonely verger of St Offraed’s church.

    Mr Sine. The lonely verger of St Offraed’s church.

  • Padded Watch Portfolio. The WWI war office document stamp for the secretive battalion of the Royal Padded Watch.

    Padded Watch Portfolio. The WWI war office document stamp fo...

  • On duty. A member of the Kings Disinclined Battalion of the Royal Padded Watch. The pinnacle of abnegation for King and Country!

    On duty. A member of the Kings Disinclined Battalion of the ...

  • A Concrete Bugga. The viable alternative for the childless couple.

    A Concrete Bugga. The viable alternative for the childless c...

  • Offraed dancing with his animals outside a bear cave. First known illustration of Offraed as a young man.

    Offraed dancing with his animals outside a bear cave. First ...

  • Runalong Wolfgang. The dog that chases every moving car.

    Runalong Wolfgang. The dog that chases every moving car.

  • World of Weasels shop. Giants in the world of supply, distribution and retail of weasels.

    World of Weasels shop. Giants in the world of supply, distri...

  • Lady Aelfgy being blessed and her head straightened before journeying to Normandy.

    Lady Aelfgy being blessed and her head straightened before j...

  • The farm labourer’s night game of Pass the Tamworth. It’s a masculine dare thing.

    The farm labourer’s night game of Pass the Tamworth. It’s a ...

  • Backyard of the Cough & Drainer after the deluge. Pip, Moab and Drummer, the pub’s farting cat and darts team mascot survey the weather damage.

    Backyard of the Cough & Drainer after the deluge. Pip, Moab ...

  • William of Normandy helping to straighten Harold’s head and presenting him with a new arm.

    William of Normandy helping to straighten Harold’s head and ...

  • Mr Lantern’s backyard. Water spouts, bird droppings, jellyfish, telescopes and Pleasant Surprise clocks.

    Mr Lantern’s backyard. Water spouts, bird droppings, jellyfi...

  • Mr Lantern. Village caretaker, amateur meteorologist and telescope maker.

    Mr Lantern. Village caretaker, amateur meteorologist and tel...

  • Edward’s death after contracting Bayeux Tapestry Disorder from Harold.

    Edward’s death after contracting Bayeux Tapestry Disorder fr...

  • Harold returning to England to warn Edward about the contagious Norman disorder.

    Harold returning to England to warn Edward about the contagi...

  • Invitation to the annual reunion of former members of the Royal Padded Watch.

    Invitation to the annual reunion of former members of the Ro...

Chapter 5

  • Friday at the barbers. The horror of a haircut for a small boy.

    Friday at the barbers. The horror of a haircut for a small b...

  • Pip’s old village schoolroom.

    Pip’s old village schoolroom.

  • Dimmy the witch communing with the river.

    Dimmy the witch communing with the river.

  • Old Mother Mossop eating trapped Hawfinches at night.

    Old Mother Mossop eating trapped Hawfinches at night.

  • The blind monk’s dormitory in the rectory.

    The blind monk’s dormitory in the rectory.

  • Dimmitte Mossop mezzotint.

    Dimmitte Mossop mezzotint.

  • Pip at infants school trying to impress Sarah.

    Pip at infants school trying to impress Sarah.

  • Red Wine Removes The Capybara. Hands up who wants a t-shirt with this profound statement on it.

    Red Wine Removes The Capybara. Hands up who wants a t-shirt ...

  • Pip, Moab and Alwyn discover the records of the 17th century village witch.

    Pip, Moab and Alwyn discover the records of the 17th century...

  • Watt, Pettipher and Plim. Pip’s buddies from early school.

    Watt, Pettipher and Plim. Pip’s buddies from early school.

Chapter 6

  • Alwyn the arsonist.

    Alwyn the arsonist.

  • The village barbers debating Solipsism at the garden fete.

    The village barbers debating Solipsism at the garden fete.

  • Fondant ice cream by Ice Cream Bastardos.

    Fondant ice cream by Ice Cream Bastardos.

  • Gulliver Waterponce delivering river water around the village.

    Gulliver Waterponce delivering river water around the villag...

  • Pip’s nightmare.

    Pip’s nightmare.

  • Red Muriel the village mad woman, and the mother of Gulliver Waterponce.

    Red Muriel the village mad woman, and the mother of Gulliver...

  • The divine Mr Burlstrode. Don’t give barbers philosophy to read!

    The divine Mr Burlstrode. Don’t give barbers philosophy to r...

  • Goliath Bicker’s latest creation. The Doorman. These should be manufactured and distributed by the government to all those that live alone.

    Goliath Bicker’s latest creation. The Doorman. These should ...

  • Victor and Victor on their PuMPY. A creation of Dudley Waisthold.

    Victor and Victor on their PuMPY. A creation of Dudley Waist...

  • Pip's Tonttu watches Frank's yogic flyer closely, waiting for the opportunity to snatch some of his food.

    Pip's Tonttu watches Frank's yogic flyer closely, waiting fo...

Chapter 7

  • Dream of a crease.

    Dream of a crease.

  • One of Aubrey’s insecure toilet dreams. One of a series of endless adventures spent in a fruitless search to locate a lavatory that does not have transparent glass cubicles, that he can use without being obvious to everyone else.

    One of Aubrey’s insecure toilet dreams. One of a series of e...

  • Shall we have Thumpies everyone?

    Shall we have Thumpies everyone?

  • The burial of the relic.

    The burial of the relic.

  • The rector. Reverend Furfur.

    The rector. Reverend Furfur.

  • Have you considered Glancing Gulls for your security? A gulled building is secure, and their attentiveness is discretion itself. Remember, at the very moment of a break-in or an intrusion, no-one can ignore the ‘deafening loudspeakers from hell’, as one of our grateful clients described them. Try our successful and very effective Glancing Gull security package. You will never return to the gentle chimes of alarm bells.

    Have you considered Glancing Gulls for your security? A gull...

  • The divine village barber, Mr Burlstrode, takes all the credit for the Lord's prayer and responds with benevolence.

    The divine village barber, Mr Burlstrode, takes all the cred...

Epilogue 1971 AD

  • Stone engraving. Offraed attempting to migrate with summer birds.

    Stone engraving. Offraed attempting to migrate with summer b...

  • Stone engraving. Offraed swimming with something.

    Stone engraving. Offraed swimming with something.

  • Stained glass window. St Crispin refusing Offraed entrance into a bird garden.

    Stained glass window. St Crispin refusing Offraed entrance i...

  • Couple visit the church to look around.

    Couple visit the church to look around.

  • Stained glass window. Offraed as a young man, and his obsession in rowing rabbits safely across the river Parrett.

    Stained glass window. Offraed as a young man, and his obsess...

  • The restraining of Offraed at his death.

    The restraining of Offraed at his death.

  • Offraed being rescued from the Clamshell riots.

    Offraed being rescued from the Clamshell riots.